Book Five
Chapter Forty-Four - Juliani in the
Halls
Robin looks up
to Jovian. "Please, Jove. Let's go."
She whispers to her brother.
"Sure. Where are you sleeping tonight?" he asks, intuiting
that
the answer will not be inside the rockpile as he leads her out into the
halls.
"You need a change of clothes?" He can't resist grinning as he adds
this,
surveying the luminous paint - and the linen drape hanging half-off
from
the single remaining shoulder pin.
"Uh, I was thinking the northeast garden for
tonight."
Robin's brows furrow and she swipes at the damn skirt.
Looking
back up at Jovian, she can't resist a chuckle to match his grin.
"That'd
look great, wouldn't it? Little glowing ball tucked into a tree
branch.
Given the mood around here, I wouldn't be surprised if the gardeners
took
a couple swings at me with a broom or something."
"Uh,
yeah. I guess..." she looks around, obviously disoriented.
"Where
are the baths from here?" A shudder ripples through her at the
feeling
of dislocation that overwhelms her every time she enters the halls of
Amber
Castle.
"Here, let's get to your room, get you your things, then
the
bath and straight out from there." With quiet, easy confidence, Jovian
guides
Robin back to the makeshift family wing.
Robin follows Jovian's lead, obviously unfamiliar with the
way.
And a bit wearied by that fact.
Along the walk, Jovian begins quietly, tentatively, and
only
in the most deserted hallways. "You had a bad time of it out there."
"Yeah." Robin admits shamefacedly.
She leans her head against Jovian's shoulder as they walk along.
"I
*knew* it was going to be hard, Jove. And I was expecting
trouble.
And at least, I didn't lose it too much, too publicly. But
yeah..."
she shivers.
"This
place just wears me down, mon frere. 'Come to magnificent Castle
Amber.
Wonder at the incredible cacophony. Thrill to odors you never
knew
existed. Bask in the delicious bug-in-a-bell-jar
ambiance.'"
Robin wrinkles her nose and sticks out her tongue.
"I know exactly what you mean, little bird. *Exactly.*"
Beat.
"Still...that's
not quite what I meant." He looks down at the girl and feels his chest
fitting
a little too tight. "I meant out *There.* Freaky shit. Before the
Isles."
His tone does not demand an immediate answer.
"If
you need to talk about that, I'm always here for you, OK? When you're
ready?"
There's nothing there but concern and the full reach of a brother's
love.
"Oh." Robin's voice gets small. Her eyes
squeeze
shut and she shudders. Moisture appears at the creases of her
lashes.
"I... oh, dung, Jovian." Her voice sounds broken.
"I
don't know. Sometimes... I think yeah. It was... bad," she
whispers.
"That I'm never going to be free of it. Then at other times I
think
I haven't slept enough, or I'm stressed and I'm making a mountain out
of
a mole-hill."
She
opens her eyes and looks up at her brother. "But I can't talk to
Dad
about it. It cuts him, Jovian. Knowing that he sent me into
that.
That I'm not alright because of his decision." She looks down the
hall,
her face haunted.
"I...
I don't want to be alone anymore." She whimpers, and buries her
face
in Jovian's shoulder.
He wraps Robin up in the wings of his cloak, just about
hiding
the girl down to luminous ankles. He draws a breath to speak, but saves
it
- sure, he could promise that between Dad and Vere and himself she
wouldn't
be alone, but what point when she would still be alone with her haunted
memories?
So
he holds her only, rock-steady and secure, and waits her out until
she's
ready to look up again on her own.
The Ranger gets it under control relatively quickly, with
an
undignified snuffle. After all, they are still in the bell-jar.
"I'm sure it's too much for tonight, but I'll be staying
around
for at least several days. We'll find time...to sort out what happened
together.
You won't have to be alone anymore."
"Th-thank you, Jove." She ruffles a little under his
cloak.
"Dad... I... we have to leave tomorrow, early-ish. I'm not
sure
I'm going to be able to go flying with you and Canareth." She
sounds
both very sad about that. And worried for her brother.
Her
green eyes peep out. "And you have things to talk about to me
too,
right? Arden's officially closed now, but I'm sure that doesn't
mean
you, Jovian. Can you come with us? Base out of there while
you
and Vere get your forces together? Or something? I mean, I
have
Ranger business I need to deal with right away... dammit!"
She
thumps her forehead against Jovian's chest. "By the time I'm done
with
that," it's obviously something Robin doesn't want to rush, "you and
Vere
will probably be ready to leave."
"Joooovee!"
Her green eyes crinkle and tears form in her lashes.
"Sh-sh-sh-sh-shhhhhh, it's all right," he soothes,
stroking
Robin's shoulders. "My people are camped at Ruby, remember? Dad *can't*
shut
me out, we've got nowhere else to put the dragons. And you know you're
welcome
among our lot," Jovian adds, poorly masking gleam in his eye.
Robin fights back the hysteria and buries her head in
Jovian's
chest. Deep Green Shadows! This place was really and truly
gutting
her. But she can't go back to the gray haze that she wandered
around
in before. All the things -- all the people -- she missed!
But...
was this constant on-the-ragged-edge any better?!
"Look, the Rangers don't need your constant attention
seven
watches a day, right? Big strong woodsmen, can take care of themselves
without
a nursemaid? We'll find some downtime sooner rather than later, and
we'll
catch up. Besides, from the sound of Vere's arrangements, we won't be
dashing
out to the Isles this Moonday, and probably not next." His chuckle is
obviously
meant to be encouraging.
Robin snuffles again and nods, letting Jovian's strength
and
bright humor wash over the fears and uncertainties. The Ranger's
breathing
grows more even. She nods again.
"I
like riders and dragons too. It's nice. The humming."
She
murmurs quietly into Jovian's chest.
She leans back
a
little and inelegantly wipes her nose on her forearm. Tears
moisten
the various dyes on Robin, loosening them. And the black face
paint
leaves a dark streak down her forearm while the luminous white
body-paints
leaves an uneven glowing splotch around the tip of her nose.
"But...
but seriously, Jove. I've got something very important and
full-time
to do right when I get back to Arden." She sighs.
"We'll work it out, don't fret," Jovian promises, a warm,
steady
hand smoothing Robin's hair. "I'd rather find time, but if we need to,
we'll
steal it - this is important enough, I think." He turns again to
continue
toward where he's pretty sure her quarters lay, drawing her into one
arm
as they walk. "I love you, kiddo."
The girl curls into his arm, still ruffling and rattling
slightly,
but much calmer.
At
Jovian's declaration though, languages crash together in her Robin's
head
and, in the end, it's her earliest that escapes first. She looks
up
at her brother as a long low whistle of warm familiarity and fondness
emerges
from her lips. She drops her eyes to nuzzle against his shoulder
with
the top of her head. "Love you too, Jove... Thank
you."
A slow smile creeps across her face, faltering to begin with, then
settling
in.
"Will
work it out." She murmurs to herself, repeating his words as a
mantra
of comfort.
"I know you can't fly down to Ruby Falls with us," Jovian
continues
as they walk. "Dad mentioned. But will you meet me for a bit of
breakfast
anyway? Four bells of forenoon?" Jovian names a room that shouldn't be
too
hard to find. "Want to talk a little more before you and Dad hare off,
but
I'm going on 40 hours straight, it's time to give my brain a rest."
"Good plan, mon frere." Robin nods wearily, almost
drunken
with exhaustion. "I'm... really strung-out." She shakes her
head
with a rueful laugh that still sounds somewhat ragged.
"I'm
not so good on times and places in here, Jove. I'll do my best to
show.
Don't clock me too hard, though." A teasing grin fights its way
to
Robin's face and she thumps her brother on the bi-cep. A weak
thump,
hardly counts, but at least it's there.
"I'll see about getting a hurricane-glass for your
candle,"
he replies, sticking out his tongue. "Mine's been burning fast."
"Glass, oh yeah." She chuckles as she leans against
him.
"*That's* gonna work."
"Drafts," Jovian nods sagely - then dissolves into
laughter.
Jovian escorts Robin to her room, getting a good look at
the
tumbled, spilled cartons that the Ranger doesn't live among as she
gathers
up her clothing from various places around the room. The jumble
has
been accented by a spray of luminous paint in one corner of the room,
under
the narrow, high and only window in the place, but Robin doesn't seem
to
need any other light to find her gear.
Once
she's got all her stuff roughly bundled up, the girl lets Jovian take
the
lead back to the baths. Robin's pretty much run out of energy to
talk
or trauma with, so she contents herself to stumble wherever Jovian
cares
to point her.
At the door to the bath, he indicates the neatest route to
the
northeast gardens from there, gives his sister one more big hug for
good
measure, and bids good night.
Robin gathers herself into an extra sincere squeeze for
her
brother, mumbles a *heartfelt* thank-you into his chest and heads into
the
baths.