Obies - 2009

Lifetime Achievement Award
Winner – Jeremy Zimmerman, GM

Game:  The Pooh-niverse
Description:  For a staggering 10 years, Jeremy has GM'd a Winnie-the-Pooh-based parody of the Zelzany Amber series at each and every Ambercon NW.  His games include:
     2000 - Nine Princes in the Hundred Acre Wood
     2001 -  The Poohsticks of Avalon
     2002 -  Sign of the Hunny Pot
     2003 - The Hand of Christopher Robin
     2004 - The Courts of Tigger
     2005 - Tea Party of Doom
     2006 - Strawberry Jam of the Hundred Acre Wood
     2007 - Sign of the Heffalumps
     2008 - Knight of Thistles
     2009 - Princess of Heffalumps
In recognition of this astounding achievement, a special "Lifetime Achievement" Obie was commissioned and awarded to Jeremy Zimmerman.

Player Petition - "Gamers on Strike!" 
Winner – Julian Morely, as Julian Morely et. al.

Description:  "Julian Morely is too funny."
By petition, a significant portion of the gaming community at ACNW threatened to go on strike unitil:
     A. Julian became less funny; or
     B. The other games became more funny.
In recognition of this outrage, at the outset of the Fifth Anuual Obie Awards, Julian Morley was required to sing and dance his version of "It's Not Your World Anymore" from this year's game "Scientific Progress Goes Boom!"  Ironically, this punishment merely served to substantiate Mr. Morley's comedic superiority.

Best Original Dialogue or Quote
Winner – Michael Hewner as Rayed

Game:  NINF:  The Lady Dark
Description:  “Caine can take almost any 5 year old in a fight.  I mean, he’s no Benedict, but...”

Game:  Pulp Chaos
Nominee:  Todd Worrell as Khalid & Karrin Jackson as Vinnie
Description:  At Vinnie’s cafe, Khalid asks, “Vincent, what are today’s specials?”
    Vinnie answers, “I didn’t get their names.

Game:  Separation’s End
Nominee:  Ben Bernard as King Gerard
Description: In response to yet another round of discussion about opening a dialogue with the army, Gerard firmly states, “The time for come for ACTION!” pounds his fist on the table, “Let’s go TALK!”

Most Heinous Betrayal or Offense
Winner – James Dobbs as Mercedes

Game:  Stalemate
Description:  Using items to fake Logrus & Shapeshifting, James was able to successfully convince everyone, including the GM, that he was a loyal Chaosian until he revealed his betrayal a little over halfway through the game.

Game:  Pax America
Nominee:  Eric Todd & Mike Sullivan, GMs
Description:  The players had to eat out their own hearts continually for 8 hours.  And the game hung like a cloud of doom over them for hours after the game was over.

Game:  To Reign in Hell
Nominee:  John Henderson as Asmodi
Description::  When all of the fallen angels exiled from Heaven grouped together to enact the ultimate plan that would save them all from Chaos by creatting the Pattern, Asmodi— the originator of the plan— tried to betray them all by creating the incarnation of Chaos instead of Order.

Outstanding Performance
by an Item,Creatue or Shadow in a Supporting Role
Winner – Colin Scharwting as an Ood

Game:  Doctor Who: ‘A Time Out of Mind’ Part 1, ‘Blood of Bel’kwinith’ Part 2
Description:  As a speechless hairless tentacle-mouthed alien with an external brain, the Ood neutralized a sniper through asexual reproduction— turning the sniper into another Ood.

Game:  Jokers’ Wild
Nominee:  Jennifer Edwards, GM
Description:  Describing the gryphon saddle in Cymnea’s room, GM— “The saddle is not meant for a horse.”
    “I’m pretty sure I’ll be wearing the saddle.” Became the apex of punishment line for the rest of the game.

Game:  Scientific Progress Goes Boom!
Nominee:  Julian Morley, GM, & Jeremy Zimmerman as Svetlana
Description:  Jeremry— “I inflate the escape craft made of lingerie by pulling the cord.” Makes a yanking gesture.
    GM— “It works.  You should probably have done that outside.”

The Prince Brand Memorial Award for Necrotic Merit
Winner – Erik Florentz as Professor Ateus

Game:  Aurellis
Description:   After receiving an amulet that could summon Armageddon, the Angel Remiel cuts Ateus down as unworthy.
    Lee Bymun— “And the strange thing is, it wasn’t even the demons who got him.”
    Madeline Ferweda— “It was the fucking angels.”
    Erik Florentz— “And it wasn’t even the right angels, it was a rogue angel!”
    Lee Bynum— “You had angels after you, too?!”

Game:  Before Time Began 2: The Old Gods
Nominee:   Anneke Floor as Minerva
Description:  Minerva used the brain of her own dead body to filter the party’s contact with a great evil comglomerate-demon.

Game:  Book of Names
Nominee:  Camille Holthaus as Brianna the Wildling
Description:  Brianna was the character so villanous and hated, she was killed twice!  She was “reborn” after being incinerated and got to live maybe 20 minutes before being killed again.

The People’s Choice Award
Winner – Stephanie Itchkawich as Columbia

Game:  Rocky Horror Chaos Show
Description:   Columbia’s carefully researched costume & make-up, the alcoholic courage required to wear it & the pain of the corset stays.  (Professional assistance provided by Stephanie McMeechan.)

Game:  Crimson Dawn
Nominee:  Stephanie McMehan as Wardrobe Mistress
Description:  Stephanie provided a selection of Kimonos for the Amberese ladies to wear.

Game:  Pulp Chaos
Nominee:   Anne Goldberg as Harvey (a female character)
Description:  Her character description— “If you shaved Cort and made him a girl...”

Honorable Mentions

Best Original Dialogue or Quote

Game:  All the Myths are True
Nominee:  Jason Ray as Allister
Description:  Regarding the combination of sheep & explosives, “That would be a lamb mine.”

Game: All the Myths are True
Nominee:  Derek Slaughter as Walking Feather
Description:  A Deadwood Native American character referring to ‘tax’ collection, Walking Feather— “We take our cut off the top.”
Game:  Amber Infinitum XT: Chaos Phase
Nominee:   Mike Hewner as Benedict
Description:  Regarding the last vestiges of humanity leaving Dara’s eyes as she applies the full power of the Abyss upon the last defenders of lost Amber, Mike— “Not only do you have to see it, but you have to endure a 3 minute cut scene anytime she uses this power.”

Game:  Anarchy in the UK: God Attack the Queen
Nominee:  CJ Skinner as Reginald Howard
Description:  CJ— “No time for thinking!  Cabbages have been cast!”  (The ‘go’ word was cabbage.)

Game:  Anarchy in the UK: God Attack the Queen
Nominee:  CJ Skinner as Reginald Howard
Description:  Regarding the opera singer simulacrum, Reginald— “She may have a wax cylinder in her giant chest compartment... I mean...”

Game:  Aurelis
Nominee:  Lee Bynum as Annabel
Description:  Describing the group’s plan to the GM, Lee— “She arrives.  Her ability to leave is somewhat shut down.  And then we enter into the whole ‘Get her, Ray!’ portion of the plan.”

Game:  Aurelis
Nominee:  Lee Bynum as Annabel
Description:  GM— “It’s a second-hand arbalest bolt you’re wearing through your cleavage.”
    Annabel— “At least she’s wearing something.”

Game:  Both Alike in Dignity
Nominee:  Amber Cook as Mayla
Description:  "Your sister says it’s nice... I mean, sex...”

Game:  Children of the Storm
Nominee:  Kai Ford as April, the freaky artist chick
Description:  The PCs were in jail cells.  April had been heavily drugged.  Milo was sober & aware.  Richard had just woken up with no idea how he got in the cell.
    Richard— “Where is this?”
    Milo— “We’re in...”
    April— “This is where the rats go when it gets dark.” (in a creepy little sing-song voice)
    Milo— “South Dakota.  Southern South Dakota.”

Game:  Dark & Stormy Night
Nominee:  Jarrod Van Kirk as Spence & CJ Skinner as Lady Regina
Description:  Spence— “He’s a demonologist & a Dark Arts Master.  Why would you trust him?”
    Lady Regina— “He’s rather handsome.”

Game:  Dust in the Wind
Nominee:  Paul Bouchey as Jess Hardy
Description:   Regarding the girls at the bar that he was trying, poorly, to flirt with, Jess— “They got other girls there protecting them!”

Game:  Dust in the Wind
Nominee:  David Young as Cpt Drake & Emma Sansome as Doc Gray
Description:  Drake— “I know you can plug any hole, but there’s no cure for stupid.”
    Gray— “Wait until I get the book.  Once I get it, I’m going to read it through to see if drilling holes in brains has any effect.”

Game:  Eye of the Dawn
Nominee:  Thaddeus Rice as William McKenzie & Murray Whittle as himself
Description:  Regarding an earlier episode in which a native worker was devoured by a giant beast, the brave Canadian adventure McKenzie, being chased by another giant beast, exclaims “I am not a porter!”
    Referring to McKenzie’s corpulent build, Murray— “No, you are a stout.”

Game: Eye of the Dawn
Nominee:  Sara Mueller as Dr Natasha Kovolsokaia
Description:  Dr Kovolsokaia, a botanist, to Miss Elizabeth Billingswork, an artist— “Would you have something like a piton in your corset?”

Game:  Fun Must Die
Nominee:  Derrick Slaughter as Jacob, an assasin, Simone Cooper as Paul, an assasin, & Emma Sansome as Anna, an assasin.
Description:  Assigned to kil Mr. Fun, the assasins discuss collateral damage, Jacob— “Are we killing the protege?”
    Anna— “No, I don’t kill people for fun.”
    Paul— “You kill Fun for people.”

Game:  Fun Must Die
Nominee:  Drew Wood, GM, Simone Cooper as Paul, an assasin, & Emma Sansome as Anna, an assasin.
Description:  Fun, a Chinese gangster— “I give gifts to children.”
    Anna— “Like Father Christmas.”
    Paul— “But with more opium.”
    Fun— “In the modern era, we’ve had to diversify.”

Game:  Fun Must Die
Nominee: Emma Sansome as Anna, an assasin.
Description:  While discussing the technology, weapons & preparations necessary to conduct an assisination at the Vancouver Olympics, Anna comments on a seemingly insoluble problem, Anna— “Being Canadian is the least of our worries.”

Game:  Get Shao-Ji
Nominee:  Murray Whittle as Tavy the Hotshot Mechanic & a Car Ouside the Room as the Souped-Up Aircar
Description:  In the vicinity of a loud & illegal happening, Shepherd Zeke— “Let’s not be here.  Fast.”
    Tavy— “I can do that.”
    Outside the window a car attempts to start.  And fails.

Game:  Get Shao-Ji
Nominee:  Chris Lightfoot as Sheperd Zeke & Nick Lightfoot as Sergeant Sheridan
Description:  As Sergeant Sheridan is being assaulted by an escaped prisoner, Nick— “I hit him in the nuts with the wrench.”
    Zeke (deadpan)— “Is that the right gauge wrench for those nuts?”

Game:  Giants in the Playground
Nominee:  Daric Jackson as Corwin playing Sabine & Kris Fazzari as Dara playing Haley
Description:  The Ballad of the Field of Ruins by Corwin
    There once was a swamp that was mucky
    I slept on a spot that was sucky
    With Dara on top
    I slept not a lot
    And woke up next morning all yucky.

Game:  Giants in the Playground
Nominee:  Daric Jackson as Corwin playing Sabine
Description:  GM— “You’re in the swamp.  There’s a noxious, noxious smell.”
    Corwin— “I thought we didn’t bring Jurt.”

Game:  Grindhouse: Slaughter High
Nominee:  Jen Decker as The Chad
Description:   “Score!” (with gesture— two-handed fist pump with index and pinkie fingers extended)

Game:  The Hooded Men
Nominee:  Madeline Ferwerda as Ixbii, Mickey Schultz as Bronwyn & Ben Bernard as Edwin.
Description:  Edwin— “You’ll die for love but not to save the world?”
    Bronwyn— “Not dying for you.”
    Edwin— “Bitches.”
    Ixbii— “Bitches who will die for anyone but you.”

Game:  The Kolvir Prince
Nominee:  Todd Worrell as Eric
Description:  As Flora is trapped beneath Gerard who is sitting on her, Eric— “Flora.  It isn’t the first time you’ve had a 400 pound man on you.  But it could be the last.”

Game:  The Kolvir Prince
Nominee:  John Henderon as Corwin
Description:  “Eric, stop smiling at me— that’s just weird.”

Game:  Mook’s Life
Nominee:  James Craig Ryan, Mook #6— the Hard Case
Description:  ?— “Who does foreplay with an unconscious partner?”
    James— “A Southern Gentleman.”

Game:  Mook’s Life
Nominee:  Cort Oderkirk as Mook #5— The Stud
Description:  “I will suck on my own lactation until I once again feel fit!”

Game:  Order of the Stick
Nominee:  Jason Ray as Gerard playing Durkon
Description:  “D&D— combining the excitement of watching ice melt with the joys of double-entry bookkeeping.”

Game:  Princess of Heffalumps
Nominee:  Jeremy Zimmerman, GM, as Brand
Description:  While Florimelle, the Queen Bee, is plotting with Brand via Trumps, Brand— “May I come through?”
    Florimelle— “Of course.  We’re in the Courts of Heffalumps.”
    Brand— “I’ll try not to get pounced on by Jagulars.”

Game:  Pulp Chaos
Nominee:  Karrin Jackson as Vinnie the Bat
Description:  After his kitchen is overrun by brooches, pins, tchochkes, etc and trying to fence a pendant, Vinnie— “It’s got a bit of magic in it.  I don’t know what it does.  It might make you irresistable to knick-knacks.”

Game:  The Rocky Horror Chaos Show
Nominee: Cort Oderkirk as Frank N. Furter, Lord of Chaos & Todd Worrell as Riff-Raff of House Transylvania
Description:   Riff-Raff— “I can’t understand you with Taffy in your mouth.”
    Frank N. Furter— “By now you should be able to understand me with anything in my mouth!”

Game:  The Rocky Horror Chaos Show
Nominee: Cort Oderkirk as Frank N. Furter
Description:  "Where is my monster? I’m losing my erection!”

Game:  The Ruikei Project
Nominee:  Ogre Whiteside, GM, as all the Henchmen
Description:  Whenever Boss Tanaka spoke, all the players shouted in unison “Yes, Boss Tanaka!”

Game:  Scooby-Doo and the Black Road Mystery
Nominee:  Stephanie McMehan as Fred
Description:  "Let’s go check out the Black Road.  That should be safe.”

Game:  ShadowWorld
Nominee:  John Schippers as ?
Description:  John— “The thing is, I need to do miracles in order to create whiskey.”

Game:  ShadowWorld: Crime League
Nominee:  Rob Haight, GM, & ?? as Paul de Thouers
Description:  ??— “I am a man of honour.”
    GM— “’Person of Interest’ is the term you want.”

Game:  ShadowWorld: Crime League
Nominee:  Joe Saul as Felipe
Description:  “Necropedophilia? Now that’s just really wrong.”

Game:  Sign of the Unicorn and Zombies
Nominee:  JP Brannan as Corwin
Description:  In the library, after Gerard beat Corwin up (but not in front of the whole family) there were some questions, Llewella— “What did you do today?”
    Corwin— “I woke up... I collected Caine’s body...”
    Llewella— “I ask because of your black eye.”
    Corwin— “I walked into a door.”

Game:  Stand and Deliver
Nominee:  Stephanie McMehan as Amelia & Anneke Floor as Beth
Description:  Amelia— “I would like to hire one of your urchins.”
    Beth— “Well, I hope you’re not going to involve him in anything dangerous. (pause) Because that would cost more.”

Most Heinous Betrayal or Offense
Game:  Take the Sky
Nominee:  All the players as the Captain and Creww of the Resolution
Description:  While carrying the pseudo-dead Juliet-analog past a crowd of enraged visiting Capulet-analogs who were beating the Romeo-analog to a bloody pulp, the crew resolutely declared, “That’s none of our business.  We drive pass.  The idiot deserves it.”

Outstanding Performance by an Item, Creature or Shadow in a Supporting Role

Game: ??
Nominee:  John Nienart as Mr. Kallikanzanros, Joe Zottola, fill-in GM, & Ogre Whiteside as ?
Description:  Mr. Kallikanzanros— “What does the Arabic say?”
    Joe— “Do not remove under penalty of law.”
    Ogre— “Great.  It’s Satan’s mattress tag.”

Game:  Aurellis (the First One)
Nominee:  Patrick Franklin as Orion Turner
Description:  “Wait.  We’re asking a space vessel to come into O’Hare.”

Game:  The End of Everything
Nominee:  Thaddeus Rice, GM, for the talking Coyote
Description:  Regarding a talking Coyote that the players mistakenly took for Dworkin, when Coyote realized that he was being seduced, “Are you into bestiality?!?”
    Amy— “No.”
    Coyote— “NEITHER AM I!!!”

Game:  Kissed by Chaos
Nominee:  Chris Lightfoot & Jennifer Zimmerman, GMs, for the Tentacle Monsters
Description: Hentai-trained Tentacle Monsters who gave repeated assistance in all manner of x-rated fashions to forward the players’ corporate ambitions; reducing inhibitions and rescuing Benedict from the energy-draining Swedish Bikini Team.

Game:  Scientific Progress Goes Boom!
Nominee:  Julian Morley, GM, Leslie Lightfoot as Wolfgar (female) & Yi Mei Chng as ? for the Seraglio
Description: What began as an innocent visit to a Seraglio was soon improvised by a mad genius to include a giant squid, a holocaust cloak and a half-dozen oiled Mohamadi.

Game:  Ultimate High School Tetsu No Sakana
Nominee:  Don Ide, GM, for the Math Bunny-Man
Description: The breaking of the space-time continuum, turned a member of the Math Club member into a bunny with glasses, who was forced to give dirty looks and write out his family tree to prove that he was human.

The Prince Brand Memorial Award for Necrotic Merit

Game:  The End of Everything
Nominee:  Amy Edwards as ?
Description:  Amy’s character went directly up against the Unicorn and was skewered on its horn while emptying her contructed 6-shooter direcly into its head.

Game:  Jokers Wild
Nominee:  John Kim as Contingency 3
Description:  In a surprising fit of family ‘teamwork’, Cymnea & Finndo are a little jumpy on the trigger when they see a Trump of Oberon being considered by the Regent of Undershadow, “It seems a shame to wast a perfectly good queen like that.”

Game:  Paranoia Amber
Nominee:  Ogre Whiteside as Brand (David Bowie), Anne Goldberg as Random (Johnny Rotten), James Ryan Craig as Bleys & Patrick Franklin as Corwin
Description:  Brand, a loyalty officer and Random, morale officer, take drugs and make out as Corwin attack Bleys on the steps of Kolvir with a stick figure Trump and a chainsaw.  Bleys counterattackes with a fireball blowing them both off the cliffside.

Game:  Scientifc Progress Goes Boom
Nominee:  Julian Morley, GM, as Dr Kartopekoff
Description:  After being punched in the nuts by two PC’s, he goes flying through the air to land screamingupon exploding fiendish marchinery.

Game:  Stalemate
Nominee:  Louisa McGuiness as Susprira
Description:  Given a chance to take out Fiona, Gerard, Flora, Julian and Corwin, Suspria sacrificed herself to do so against the intervention of others, securing a key military goal (getting Flora and Julian.)

The People’s Choice Award

Game:  Before Time Began 2: Old Gods
Nominee:  Leslie Lightfoot as Daleth
Description:  For being the character that everyone winced at ever agreeing with.

Game:  Firefly: Burn the Lands
Nominee:  Emma Sansome, GM
Description:  Though adroit handling of the plot and NPCs, Emma got all of the players to rescue the stupid girl.  After we had all voted NO.

Game:  Get Shao-Ji
Nominee: Murray Whittle as Tavy the Hotshot Mechanic
Description:  Murray’s mechanic’s costume, complete with overalls and carefully researched Blue Sun logo, lovingly printed and stapled to the pocket.

Game: Get Shao-Ji
Nominee:  Madeline Ferwerda as the Captain
Description:  As the ship was being halied, Madeline received a text message on her cell phone.

Game:  The Kolvir Prince
Nominee:  Pol Jackson, GM & Jim Groves as Caine
Description:  After a weird Trump talk with ‘another Caine,’ Caine “eavesdrops on his own Trump.
    Caine— “Is it in use?”
    GM— “Yes.  It appears someone is listening in on it.”

Game:  Pulp Chaos
Nominee:  Karrin Jackson as Vinnie the Bat
Description:  “Show me on the doll where Jeremy’s game touched you.”

Game:  Pulp Chaos
Nominee:  Michelle Ray as Precious
Description:  “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.”

Game:  The Sable Game
Nominee:  Trish Hart, GM
Description:  For forcing mental images of fluffy kittens to defeat the evil energy vampire.

Thanks to all who made the 2009 Obies the great fun they were.