Obies - 2008

Best Original Dialogue or Quote
Winner - Murray Whittle (with Assist by Madeline Ferwerda)

Game:  NINF:  Where There's Smoke
Description:  After finding the Unicorn's bones, Murray says "That Unicorn wouldn't go voom if you put 4,000,000 volts through it."
     Madeline responds with "That is an ex-Unicorn.  It's run up the curtain and joined the choir invisible."
Runners-Up

Game:  Merlin's Regular Game
Nominee:  James Craig as Jurt playing Belkan
Description:  Bleys had been hanging back and letting the other players lead when  Jurt as Belkan calls from the front, "Bleys, I found something over here on the floor.  I believe these are your testicles."

Game:  Prime-Time Adventures: Erection
Nominee:  Jennifer Zimmerman as Paula, the Psycho Janitor
Description: After overhearing that co-worker Sam has a date coming up, Paula tells him "The first date is just the first step to heartbreak... and chlamydia."



Most Heinous Betrayal or Offense
Winner - Eric Florentz as Van Mohlis

Game:  Shadow World
Description:   Van was supposed to modify the security protocols on an immensely powerful, not-understood, self-aware artifact so that the artifact could protect itself and save the team.  Instead he removes all the security protocols, thereby imbibing it with complete freedom, ambition and the ability to eat human souls.
Runners-Up

Game:  Blackmoore
Nominee:  Simone Cooper as Prince Cyric of Regot
Description:  Cyric hugs his father, Ulric, and says how much he loves him.  Ulric hugs his son back and tells him how much he loves him.  Then, Cyric stabs his father through the heart.

Game:  Tom Amberite
Nominee:  Ken Cassidy as Argent
Description::  Argent, completing his scavenger hunt 20 minutes early, went about sabotaging Eddie by taking all his materials and hiding them.  Leaving Eddie 5 minutes to redo the entire scavenger hunt.



Outstanding Performance
by an Item,Creatue or Shadow in a Supporting Role
Winner - Julian Morley as The Sculler's Hand

Game:  Being Prince Benedict
Description:  The dishwasher and the scullery maid had to present a dented pot to "The Sculler".  John stepped into the bathroom and mostly-closed the door, extending only his hand through the opening.  The hand alone then conducted a 15-minute audience.
Runners-Up

Game:  Top Amberite
Nominee:  Cort Oderkirk, Andy Blija & Kai Ford as the NY Times Square Jumbotron
Description:  The team was searching New York for Corwin advertised him as a missing person on the Jumbotron, thereby recruiting all of New York to aid their search.

Game:  Prime-Time Adventures
Nominee:  Pol Jackson , GM, for the Erection Logo
Description:  The Erection logo is of a large, towering side profile of a skycraper being built with a massive base.  Once the logo on Sam's notepad was used to block Xavier's 'package' as Xavier prepared for his tanning both session.  Another time, during the "Next on Erection..." preview, a nude Valkyrie statue is presented at a boardroom meeting, with the logo on all the folders being raised.



Special Achievement in Persistent Mental Imaging
Winner - Don Ide as the God of the Cycle of Life

Game:  Life, the Universe and Everything
Description:  In the first round, the God of Life declares "I'm gonna make a priest class... of hyena fuckers."  This became a running joke and it took 14 ages for humans to outgrow hyena fucking.
Runners-Up

Game:  Pulp Chaos
Nominee:  Karrin Jackson as Vinny the Bat
Description:  In regards to experimentation with individuals of the male persuastion, Vinny said "Let me tell you, that ain't an ovipositor.  That's the kind of mistak a man makes only once."

Game:  Endless Starlight:  Far from Heaven
Nominee:  Kai Ford as Jenna
Description:  Morgenstern and Hellhounds prancing and frolicking with all of Arden's cute woodland animals.



Most Intrusive Interruption of a Drama or Comedy
Winner - Owen Morley as Himself

Game:  Sunday Slackers' Roleplaying
Description:   The game came to a total stop so that the players could all watch the baby eating. his baby food.  "Aaaawwwwww...."
Runners-Up

Game:  Pattern Authority
Nominee:  Joe Saul as Himself
Description:  Joe kept spaking Thaddeus everytime he bent over the talbe to play a card.  "Watch it, watch it, wait for it... here it goes!"

Game:  The Blood Dimmed Tides
Nominee:  The GMs as Themselves
Description:  The GMs split timestreams, leaving us with a false Corwin, a fake Excalibur and a bar tab for Puck.



The Prince Brand Memorial Award for Necrotic Merit
Winner - Stephanie McMechan as Kiki 'the Crusher'

Game:  Grindhouse 2:  Amazon Chain-Gang vs. the Snake-a-Gator
Description:   Kiki is dying in Suzanne's arms when Suzanne says "Darling, I want you to know that when you're gone, I'm gonna name one of the Snake-a-Gator babies after you."  Kiki replies, "At last.... I'll finally be... (cough) pretty." And dies.
Runners-Up

Game:  Ahead of the Storm
Nominee:  Keith Amling as Harold
Description:  Harold volunteered to be impaled and tortured to fuel the Pattern Battery.

Game:  Ahead of the Storm
Nominee:   Dana ? as Legh
Description:  Legh slices his own neck rather then have Benedict power his artifact with his life.



Honorable Mentions

Best Original Dialogue or Quote

    Game:  Pre-Con
    Nominee:  Jake the Barman
    Description:  "This is the Edgefield.  If we have any spare room, we build another bar."


    Game:  Ahead of the Storm
    Nominee:  Eric Todd, GM & John Schippers as Lucian
    Description:  GM - "Do you cut eyeholes in the severed head?"
       John - "No, I just put the whole thing on."
   

    Game:  Amber world
    Nominee:  Emma Sansome, GM & Cort Oderkirk
    Description:   GM - "Waiting for the Unicorn reminds you of when you were young waiting for Santa Claus."
       Cort - "Only this one doesn't bring presents, it brings sexual inappropriatenss."

    Game:  The Ambrato Project
    Nominee:  Jim ? as Random
    Description:  In the Pattern Room, Dara is bleeding from an arrow in the chest, Bleys & Corwin have Julian on the floor and are gleefully beating the snot out of him, Caine  & Fiona are standing back looking innocent, when the Guards charge in.
       Guards - "Your Majesty!  What's happening?!?"
       Random - "Did I call for you?  No?"  (makes shooing gestures)

    Game:   Aurellis
    Nominee:  Madeline Ferwerda as Jade Fang
    Description:  "Let's not be greedy.  Let's just steal all the gold in this Shadow."

    Game:  Between Venus & Mars
    Nominee:   Thaddeus Rice, GM as an NPC
    Description:  Describing the way the artist body-painted an NPC - "Oh, I like what you've done with the albino."

    Game:  Between Venus & Mars
    Nominee:  Pol Jackson as Virgil White, Professional Dick
    Description:  In a British accent, "Pip, pip, cheerio and fuck yeah!"

    Game:  The Blood-Dimmed Tides Are Loosed
    Nominee:  Pol Jackson as Rune & Drew Wood as Merlin
    Description:  Rune, who worships Corwin, confronts a disguised Merlin.
         Rune - "Why are you pretending to be Corwin?"
         Merlin - "Why are you?"

    Game:  Brand & Fi Make a Porno
    Nominee:  Joe Saul as ?
    Description:  "Is there any other aspects of our arrangments that you'd like to inspect?"

    Game:  Burn the Land & Boil the Sea
    Nominee:  Jeremy Franklin as Jeremiah Jones, sheperd
    Description:  When asked f he was good in a fight, "There are stern words I could use."

    Game:  Children of the Storm
    Nominee:  Kai Ford as April
    Description:  The GM described the surroundings to a character that was out of phase and was trying to explain what they could feel of the blizzard around them.
          April - "It's like a sketch of cold."

    Game:  Children of the Strom
    Nominee:  Simone Cooper as Milo
    Description:   One of the players was trying to sink partially down into the floor.  The group determined that they should go completely through the floor.
          Milo - "Besides walking through the floor would cut you off at the knees and that makes even the thinnest woman look a little fat."

    Game:  Children of the Storm
    Nominee:  Darren King as ?
    Description:   Explained his power as "I can electrocute things in the bathroom with my trick knee."

    Game:  The Clan of Wandering Shadows
    Nominee:  Malcolm Heath, GM
    Description:  "Actually, I only designed this scenario because I like to make people say 'puppet'."

    Game:  Doctor Who - the Changing Land
    Nominee:  Cort Oderkirk as Captain Jack Harkness
    Description:  The 4th Doctor prepares to counsel the Master's insane Tardis using the Tardises of the 4th, 5th and 10th Doctors.
          5th Doctor - "Three Tardises are better than one."
          Jack - "Even if the three... are one."
          4th Doctor - "It's a trinity."
          Jack - "You've got some sort of neo-christian Tardis!"

    Game:  Firefly - Criminal Element
    Nominee:  Malcolm Health as Hammers
    Description:  "I'm going to put my arm around his throat in a companion-like way."

    Game:  A Friendly Exchange
    Nominee:  Meera Barry, GM, as Fiona
    Description:  "Do you want to meet your cousin Rinaldo before or after I flay his mind?"

    Game:  Grendel - Critical Mass
    Nominee:  Simone Cooper, GM & Eric Todd as Frank O'Malley, PTSD Sufferer
    Description:  Frank - "I ask my wife how our kids... are... kid... daughter?  I forgot the kid's sex."
          GM - "That may be why you're having marital problems."

    Game:  Grindhouse 2 - Amazon Chain-gang vs the Snake-A-Gator
    Nominee:  Thaddues Rice as Alabama "Allie" Watkins
    Description:  Running from the Snake-A-Gator
          Allie - "Run, bitch, like your brothers just woke up with a hard-on."
          Catherine - "What brothers?"
          Allie - "All of them!"

    Game:  Grindhouse 2 - Punk Rock Apocalypse
    Nominee:  Jeremy Zimmerman as Turk, Tiffany ? as Roxy and Karrin Jackson as Bulldog
    Description:  After getting shot and killing a cop, Bonecrusher drives the gang to his 'place to party.'
          All - "You live in the suburbs!?!"

    Game:  Ho-ho-ho Chi Minh Trail
    Nominee:  John Kim as Isaac Kransberg, pfc
    Description:   Pfc Kransberg went to Narnia and brought the Cold War with him.
        Isaac - "Did it look like a Russian beaver?"

    Game:  In the Kingdom of the Blind
    Nominee:  Lee Short as Caine
    Description:  After watching Vialle transform into a demon-Dworkin and rip off King Eric's head, "You don't find Dworkin as hot as I do?"

    Game:  Justice Legion
    Nominee:  Edwin Voskamp as Dr. Faust
    Description:  To Savant 7, a hero who had turned the West Coast into a volcanic hell, "I'm a villain?  Sure, I suggested this course of action, but you chose to do it."

    Game:  The Keep
    Nominee:  Nick Lightfoot as Marcus, son of Gerard and Kingsley Lintz as Vrazda, daughter of Caine
    Description:  Marcus - "Should I kill her (pointing to Random's daughter) or it (pointing to the Chaos Beast)?"
          Vrazda - "If they find either body, they'll know we came this way."

    Game:  The Lost Room
    Nominee:  Kai Ford as April
    Description:  When asked what the group's next action would be, "Let's get out our good stuff characters and rub them together."

    Game:  The Lost Room
    Nominee:  Kai Ford as April
    Description:  When the GM announced that the plot had gone off-course and the group was going to have to ret-con some things, "Oh, we're going to have to sacrifice the kids for the plot."

    Game:  The Lost Room
    Nominee:  Kai Ford as April
    Description:  GM - "You have three days to kil.  What do you want to do?"
          Kai - "I want to kill Saturday.  I don't think it fits into the schedule anymore."

    Game:  The Lost Room
    Nominee:  Amy ? as Brian
    Description:  Trying to convince the kids not to go back into the Lost Room, "Do you want the magical room to eat you?"

    Game:  The Lost Room
    Nominee:  Amber Cook, GM & Drew Wood, GM
    Description:  Drew, catching Amber up on the plot conducted out of the room, "She's got the necklace and he went after her with the alarm clock."

    Game:  The Lost Room
    Nominee: Amy ? and Lisa ? as the Parents
    Description:   "I'm willing to sacrifice the children for the plotline."

    Game:  Merlin's Regular Game
    Nominee:  James Craig as Jurt, playing Belkar
    Description:  "Here, Bleys.  I found this under the table.  I think it's your testicles."

    Game:  Merlin's Regular Game
    Nominee:  Melissa Kocher as Dara, playing Haley
    Description:  "Can I make a grapple check and spank Belkar?"

    Game:  Midnight on the Firing Line
    Nominee:  Sara Mueller, GM and Louisa McGuiness, GM
    Description:  Sara - "Bleys is perfectly willing to cower behind you, thank you very much."
          Louisa - "And how often do you get to say that in a game?"

    Game:  NINF - Where There's Smoke
    Nominee:  Madeline Ferwerda as Cheslyn and John Kim as Jubal, son of Flora
    Description:  Cheslyn - "I inherited the Cloak of Shadows from my mother."
          Jubal - "All we got was baldness."

    Game:  NINF - Where There's Smoke
    Nominee:  Sara Muellar, GM as Flora
    Description:  "We will be chopping his head off his body... that should kill even Coriwn."

    Game:  The Pattern Authority
    Nominee:  Julian Morley as Julian, the Briar Knight
    Description:  GM - "Do you want to play any cards to make the killings more awesome?"
          Julian - "No, just mundanely killing Corwin's guards.  I might be humming a little tune while I'm doing it though."
          Note - Coriwn is Julian's ally on the Superhero team.

    Game:  The Pattern Authority
    Nominee:  Thaddeus Rice, GM, Jeremy Zimmerman as Pendragon and Joe Saul
    Description:  Jeremy - "Am I the only one without a dark secret?"
          GM - "Yeah, 'cause you're Corwin.  It's kinda obvious."
          Joe - "Your dark secret is that you're a dumbass.  It's not that dark and it's not a secret."

    Game:  PTA - Erection
    Nominee:  Jennifer Zimmerman as Paula Jackson
    Description:  "You know, the first dates is the first step to heartbreak... and chlamydia."

    Game:  PTA - Erection
    Nominee:  Julian Morley as Dick John-Thomas
    Description:  "Every episode is a spotlight on my John-Thomas."

    Game:  Professor Dworkin's Sing-A-Long Blog
    Nominee:  Roberta Tower as Madame Mayhem and Kris Fazzari as Acid Rain
    Description:  Madame Mayhem - "I got my whole costume at Wal-Mart."
          Kris - "Where super-villains go to shop."

    Game:  Professor Dworkin's Sing-A-Long Blog
    Nominee:  Chris Lightfoot, GM and Meera Barry as Madame Merikal
    Description:  GM - "It's a touching love song about world domination."
          Meera - "Aren't they all?"

    Game:  Professor Dworkin's Sing-A-Long Blog
    Nominee:  Anne Goldberg as Evil Spice
    Description:  "I'm not bitter... spicy, not bitter."

    Game:  Pulp Chaos
    Nominee:  Michelle Ray as Precious, the Way Marshall and Karrin Jackson as Vinnie the Bat
    Description:  Two Chaosians find themselves in Amber
          Precious - "Vinnie!  How long have you been up here?"
          Vinnie - "I don't know.  With the sky all weird - light, dark, light, dark - who can tell?"
          
    Game:  Pulp Chaos
    Nominee:  Carol Anne as Isabelle, a Madame and Todd Worrell as Khaleed, a customer
    Description:  Isabelle - "How's your choad been lately?"
          Khaleed - "I have been having some problems with my choad not flowing smoothly."
          Isabelle - "Oh, terrible!  You don't want you chi choked up with your choad."

    Game:  Pulp Chaos
    Nominee:  Jeremy Zimmerman, GM, as Caine and Karrin Jackson as Vinnie the Bat
    Description:  To his angry mistress, Caine says "Oh, you're bleeding." and hands her a handkerchief.
          Karrin - "STAB!  Now you're bleeding too.  (one beat pause)  Let's get a room."

    Game:  The Sable Game
    Nominee:  Kat Lemmer as Odessa St John and Trish Hart as le Comte de Saint-Germain
    Description:  When trying to figure out how much trouble half the party is in as they are breaking into Gestapo HQ,
          Odessa - "Four of our people are in there."
          Saint-Germaine - "And they haven't blown anything up yet?"
          Odessa - "That's why we're worried."
   
    Game:  The Sable Game
    Nominee:  Andi Blija as Orson
    Description:  "My heart goes warm at the thought of saving lives... now, let's go kill some Nazis!"

    Game:  ShadowWorld
    Nominee:  John Schippers as John Preston and Yi-Mei Chng
    Description:  John - "When it gets within planetary range, I eat it."
          Yi-Mei - "We're traveling with Galactus."

    Game:  ShadowWorld
    Nominee:  Yi-Mei Chng as Arocelli
    Description:  "Can you keep it down over there?  Some of us are trying to fight for our lives here."

    Game:  Sunday Slackers
    Nominee:  Andi Blija as Stuart
    Description:  "Everyone has a heart.  It may not be in the same place or have as many parts, but they all do the same thing - love."

    Game:  Sunday Slackers
    Nominee:  Andi Blija as Stuart
    Description:  "Like filth from the garbage scow, this is the trash of our lives."

    Game:  Through the Door with a Gun
    Nominee:  Michael Hewner as Angel, demon chanteuse
    Description:  After a sorcerous battle and several walls are destroyed, Angel calmly tells the combatants in the club, "Now you have entirely exhausted this establishment's hospitalty."


Most Heinous Betrayal or Offense
   
    Game:  Midnight on the Firing Line
    Nominee:  Kris Fazzari as Red
    Description:  By brutally (and unexpectedly) dealling peacefully with officers of the law, she turned the adventure from action to politics, leading to an hours-long discussion about the relative ethics and benefits of the various factions' offers.

    Game:  Professor Dworkin's Sing-A-Long Blog
    Nominee:  Anne Goldberg as Evil Spice
    Description:  She demanded thrice that we ask her what she wanted, what she really, really wanted.

    Game:  ShadowWorld
    Nominee:  Edwin Voskamp as GM, John Schippers as John Prestor and Eric Florentz as Van Mohlis
    Description:  An NPC warns Van, "If you do that, I will kill you."
           Van looks to Prestor for support.
           Prestor - a powerful god - says, "I've got your back."
          Van does the action.
          GM: "You're dead."
          Prestor:  "No, he's not."
          GM:  "Yes, he is."
          Prestor:  "No, he's not."
          GM:  "Yes, he is."
          Prestor:  "No, he's not."
          GM:  "Man, he is so dead."
          Prestor:  "I stand him up."
          GM:  "You stand up the body.  It flops.  There is no soul.  No life energy.  You've never seen anyone so dead."
          Prestor (looks thoughtful):  "I lay him down and fold his hands on his chest."
          Eric:  "Whaaa-aaa-a?!?"


Outstanding Performance by an Item, Creature or Shadow in a Supporting Role

    Game:  Grindhouse 2 - Punk Rock Apocalypse
    Nominee:  ?? as Bone Breaker for his car
    Description:  For supplying an unending supply of convenience store junk to be turned into explosives by the other players.

    Game:  Professor Dworkin's Sing-A-Long Blog
    Nominee:  Chris Lightfoot, GM, for game accessories
    Description:  An entire soundtrack and lyrics for the Sing-A-Long Blog with songbooks & CD's.  The lyrics were amazing.

    Game:  ShadowWorld
    Nominee:  Edwin Voskamp, GM, for the roses
    Description:  A 500' x 500' x 500' pyramid of carnivorous, self-aware roses attacked a PC mage, attempting to destroy her using 4" thorns.  Subsequently, the same roses attacked the God of Thievery to punish him for attempting to steal them.


Special Achievement in Persistent Mental Imaging

    Game:  Brand & Fi Make a Porno
    Nominee:  Liz Trumitch as Mandy Dore, Porn Actress
    Description:  "I want a t-shirt that says 'I took the rocket.'"

    Game:  Children of the Storm
    Nominee:  Simone Cooper as Milo
    Description:  Described the de-beaking of baby chicks

    Game:  Clan of Wandering Shadows
    Nominee:  John Schippers as "the Puppet Fluffer"
    Description:  John Schippers played a Puppet Fluffer, what more do you need to know?  Okay, you can sing 'Puppet Fluffer, you're the one.' to the tune of "Rubber Duckie."

    Game:  A Friendly Exchange
    Nominee:  Denise Gibbons as Roewyn of Hendrake and Stephanie McMechan as Kaila of Hendrake
    Description:  Executing 'House Justice' by the slow, torturous death by burning poor, sweet, sobbing Gilva of Hendrake, just because she accidentally ate Gerard.

    Game:  In the Kingdom of the Blind
    Nominee:  John Kim, GM, and ??
    Description:  While Dworkin is in disguise as Vialle, the GM says "I wouldn't put Random above being a wife-beater."
          Player:  "Dworkin might enjoy that."

    Game:  Merlin's Regular Game
    Nominee:  Craig ?? as Jurt playing Belkar
    Description:  "I think I"d like to mount my dog now."

    Game:  Merlin's Regular Game
    Nominee:  Craig ?? as Jurt playing Belkar
    Description:  Belkar couldn't convince his dog to take a dump in the monster's mouth after failing his role.  So he said he'd just have to do it himself.  He wanted to wipe on Miko's clothing but Miko was in the other room.  So he ran after Miko and Miko ran away as this is not out of character for either Jurt or Belkar.  There was a fountain in the next room where we were allowed to compete to dunk Belkar.  It's hard for him to run away with his pants like that.

    Game:  The Pattern Authority
    Nominee:  Todd Worrell as Efreet aka Bleys
    Description:  Using his 'Heat of Passion' power, even though both of his arms are held tightly by Shiva, Efreet manages to bludgeon and pelvic thrust her into submission.

    Game:  Professor Dworkin's Sing-A-Long Blog
    Nominee:  Mike Hewner as Abashect Akshay , the Evil Bus Driver
    Description:  In his application to the Chaotic League of Chaos, TEBD describes spraying gasoline out of his nipples.

    Game:  PTA - Erection
    Nominee:  Jennifer Zimmerman as Paula Jackson and Ogre Whiteside as Chloe
    Description:  Paula, pretending to be an architect, meeting with the client while scissosring her legs around Chloe's head under the desk.

    Game:  PTA - Erection
    Nominee:  CJ
    Description:  "Like Betty White who's been dating Christopher Walken too long."

    Game:  The Sable Game
    Nominee:  Trish Hart, GM and players
    Description:  Henry Gissen & Alexia Mertin in "Nazi Nooner"
          During discussions of which facility to go into first (the Reich research lab or the Geshtapo HQ), it was decided to hit the lab first, because we suspected that the scientist had visisted Geshtapo HQ for a "nooner" with his girlfriend.  Besides the lasting visual of nazis making out in a Geshtapo office, there were also mentions of "heavy desktop ornaments" and the "sturdy" manufacturing of Reich furniture.




Thanks to all who made the 2008 Obies the great fun they were.